onsdag den 29. september 2010

''so what do you do''




where did my air go? as they say: 'i cant breath without air' .. well, its true.. i cant! i dont feel like breathing... i have no air.. im breathless! ITS LOCO.

so what do you do... you take a look at all the things you have to take care of, and get ready for.. but you'll forget to take care of what you had to take care of, and you wont get ready for what you had to get ready for.. heeey welcome to my life! anyways.. im not dead yet, and i will keep looking for my breath, whrre the hell did it go?! .. maybe its just because that my heart is missing so much, so many things, so many people?? hmmm, might be... or is it just that there is alot things going on these days, or actually these weeks! months! jesus... *will it end*

mandag den 27. september 2010

...



tears are words that the heart cant explain.

onsdag den 22. september 2010

*kan ikke holde mig tilbage*

noget må ske! noget må virkelig snart ske, og det vil der også.. i weekenden, skal der være party, måske både fredag og lørdag, why not;-) livet her i Danmark er fandeme noget man selv må pynte på, ellers vil det altid bare være i det grå altsammen! og det er sku egentlig ikke et liv jeg kan leve.. mit liv drejer sig kun om at 'huske at leve livet, HVER DAG' så godt man nu kan, og så længe jeg er nød til at være her i Danmark så må der sku også gøres noget ud af det, derfor: noget skal ske! endnu mere skal ske! jatak.

i mine hverdage er det jo bare skole, og skole, og skoooole. arbejde kommer ind på et andet tidspunkt, og penge skal der nok blive tjent, til næste sommer self (: har ingen præcis anelse om hvor turen går hen næste sommer og hvor længe.. regner med flere destinationer! Sverige - London - Tyrkiet.. vil skide gerne til disse nævnte lande.. jeps, Tyrkiet vil altid være gemt inden i mig, men det vil også altid være der, så kan jo komme anytime, altså.. det jo ikke en lukket destination for mig nu bare fordi jeg har været der så meget allerede.. men nu skal andre lande altså også opleves. Jeg har dog været i både Sverige og England før, men vil opleve det, som jeg også har oplevet Tyrkiet fra alle mulige vinkler og på alle mulige måder og årstider. Så det er nok sådan planen ser ud ligenu:) har også en del at skulle besøge rundt i Sverige, og i England! uufff der er mange gode kontakter jeg savner derfra:( dejlige mennesker, festlige mennesker.. nogen som du bare ikke støder på her i Danmark, eller måske i en storby så.

Næste gang jeg tager afsted ud af landet, bliver det 2 uger også tilbage igen, eller også bliver det flere måneder! længere tid end nogensinde! men det bliver så self ikke lige inden for dette år.. det noget der høre til fremtiden, men det fint sådan.

jeg har lært så meget i min sommer i Tyrkiet(2 måneder), mere end nogen over hele hovedet kunne forestille sig! og det er gået godt ind under huden, meeen hård hud har man nu også fået under sommeren, ment på den måde at jeg helt som forventet er blevet en del stærkere, altså.. arhg, det næsten ligefør at man skal have været der ligeså langtid som jeg for at kunne forstå. Du får ligesom en form for afhængighed fra første gang du er i Alanya i Tyrkiet.. det kan IKKE beskrives, og ja jeg er nok besat.. altså, min tankegang er som en narkomans tankegang, set på den måde at jeg tænker dag og nat, hver time, hvert et øjeblik, på hvordan jeg tjener flest penge, til at kunne være afsted så længe som muligt i Tyrkiet næste gang. Tankerne går også på hvornår det er bedst at jeg så tager afsted, ovs ovs. Det er lidt skræmmende til tider synes jeg selv, men ja.. så er man vel bare besat, afhængig, og forelsket i et land, og nok endnu mere i et sted.. A****a !! jeg har en kærlighed til det land/sted, som andre har til deres kæreste.. det ændre sig nok engang for mig, eller også kommer alt det her an på min fremtid, og kommer måske til at påvirke den rigtig godt? eller skidt.. man må satme passe på.


later..

*the dj got us falling in love again*


















this is some pictures from last summer around august, when my sister did a photoshoot with me.

mandag den 20. september 2010

up & down..and up??



take me back to those happy days

how do people do this? i mean, go through the winter.. work their ass off, and just go through it all? yes i can do that.. but not for long! the cold.. the long cold dark winter.. oh no, i cant wait.. i really cant wait to get it over with, and just get into the next summer, it simply just cant go fast enough! just let the time past fast .. seriously, cause my mood these days.. oh its bad! my smile keeps coming and it leaves my face again all the time.. smile on, smile off.. and my mood goes up and down.. and now im just waiting for my mood to get up up UP again!!

today i have a day off, from everyting.. cause everything got to much for me, i need to breath.. and just walk around home and do some things, but dont think that i get to do any of those things.. nono, i cant move away from the computer.. damn the computer!! have to get my hands off the computer soon and start doing some of all those things that i haaaave to.

It SUCKS that im so bad to make updates in my blog, haha.. but thats life aight? (:


i'll be back

tirsdag den 14. september 2010

letting go




i gotta start living today, and not living the yesterday, or the day tomorrow.. grrrh, it pisses me off that i have to be so buuusyyy in my mind all the time, i really seriously gotta LET GO of those bad habits! cause its bad, god its baaad.

things are really changing... i can feel allover but its not bad! cause im always changing, but in a good way so pls, keep letting things changing :)
talking about change... my sister is moving to her own apartment tomorrow.. its gonna be weiiiiird :O! but soon it will be myself so yeah.
the weather is also changing alot, more for each day... course only getting colder, but its something that i have to accept cause after an ugly deadly winter, comes a beautiful magic summer ;)!

mandag den 13. september 2010

nothing to say...



IVE HAD ENOUGH

allah allah sen chok salak lan! ... fucking hate everything about you jerk,

*åååhh*




i could REALLY use the varm from that day where those pictures were taken! riiight now! im already sick of being here in Denmark? i thought that i just stopped feeling like that, cause when i got back to Denmark like 5 weeks ago i was for sure feeling like: oohh wanna go baack to Alanya blablabla.. but then i got over it and was happy for being here.. but now?? jesus christ... everything is irritating me, no kidding. And im trying soo much to be happy and just smile at everybody and making deals and so on... but, its like that i wont be used to Denmark before it gets really winter here.. like in December/January.. not that i love those months, cause i HAAATE them! ggrrrhh=!="(¤¤/"#)"= iieewww, i could live without snow FOREVER. Buuuut no, things will never be good enought for me, cause its myself there have to make the situation good when something is really shitty here in the cold north... but årh.. everything and almost everybody is just irritating me these days.. or yeah, these weeks... and ive been home for fucking 38 days, not much though?! HAH jesus get a fucking hold on yourself Christine!!

søndag den 12. september 2010

*might be*





could it(you) be the biggest mistake of my life? well.. for sure one of them!

its like, every car i see or hear, im afraid its you.. or every call on my phone, im afraid its you.. or everytime somebody walks in the door without saying 'hi', im afraid its you.. somebody pls kill my phone?! pls kill my thoughts too.. im so sick of this, so sick of that i have to remind myself what an asshole you were, how bad you were against me, and how much energy i used on you, BUHU FOR MYSELF! well, i would at least wish that you didnt make that call to me a couple of days ago.. and that you didnt have to send me a sms with: IM IN DANMARK NOW... what do you answer in a situation like that?? hhmm good for you?! ggrrhh!)(#¤¤#"&"&")

*weekend*






(some pictures from friday night)