even my own life fucks me up... and all i hear people say is: 'Its a great life' well damn sure it is for some people.. im just not the lucky one.
i feel like breaking... just going down, dont know where... but my body has said stop, and wont work anymore.. everybody's so damn lucky, while i feeling caught up here, cant go anywhere right now, everythings getting darker.. winter!!
those you thought were the best people in your life, can kick your ass best when it comes to feelings.. i feel like my heart has been ripped out, cut in many pieces.. and all i can do is trying to get myself together again.. but then i start to think about if it really is that bad for you soul, to just be a crying bitch for a couple of days.. i mean, thats how the human is sometimes, so it must be something that we are ment to do?? just being a sad crying bitch, who doesnt feel like talking and smiling to eeevery fucking body.
.... and buhu, i really do miss '(somebody)' veeery much, the pain can't be explained. and still, all i have alot of is sleepless nights, pain in the stomack everyday, and trouble with breathing normal, every fucking day also. What the hell is wrong with me?? right now.. these days.. weeks, i couldnt be more tired of myself. Hand on the heart, if there is something that i am pretty good at, then it is to fuck up things and people, my talent there is really amazing.. and oh boy it bites my ass sometimes pprrrr :s
those settings, words.. is e-x-a-c-t-l-y what things look like inside of me in this moment
